sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
