Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
