yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
