I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
