Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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