your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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