I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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