If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
