you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
