woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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