Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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