I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
