To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
