Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you didnt know i had herpes?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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