hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
