I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
