Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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