You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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