my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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