There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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