Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
