Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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