I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
