I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
