hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
