This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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