I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
