My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
