what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
only you would photoshop your dick
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
