Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
