I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
