i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
