So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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