theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
