I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
