Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
