when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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