Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just tell him i said nine months
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
