Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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