Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
