I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
