I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
