I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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