i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
