Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He? As in you personified your dick?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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