Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
