That's intense
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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