I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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