Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
