I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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